I utterly dislike the smiley faces that most of you use in your email correspondence. Therefore I am announcing today that I will no longer tolerate smiley faces in the email correspondence that I receive. I propose that instead of smiley faces, you start using chicken faces.

I am including below examples of chicken smiley faces - and I am asking that you start using them going forward every time you must convey any type of emotions in your email correspondence.